It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
