Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
