I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
