You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
