I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
