Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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