the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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