Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
