there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
