Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
