Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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