No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
