Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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