____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
