next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
