you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
