Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
