he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
