JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
