he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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