I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
