Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
me + whiskey = a bad person
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Randomize
