party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
