Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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