don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
