How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
