I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
