Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
