Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
