so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
