who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
