We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
