i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
