A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
