she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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