i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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