I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
