it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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