good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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