We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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