why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
