I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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