Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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