I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
