I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
please come you make the beer taste better
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
