he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
