I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
