After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
