So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
