Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(941): View more from Florida

my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.

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(330): View more from Ohio

i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love

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(770): View more from Georgia

So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...

(404): View more from Georgia

Dont! You were just serving you country

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.

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(303): View more from Colorado

It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on

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(925): View more from California

Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.

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